She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
