Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
