Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
