Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
