dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
