from now on my penis is your penis
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
