They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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