I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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