Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
