wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
