its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
