I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
