I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
