remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Randomize
