1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
