they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
