So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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