I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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