yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We named our party play list daddy issues
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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