i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
zippers are such a cool invention
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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