yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
