hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
