can we get nightvision for the apartment?
barbara walters just said penis...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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