I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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