Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
