Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Randomize
