An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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