We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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