wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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