Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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