Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
