the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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