You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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