"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
3 2 1 whiskey
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I yelled at your uterus for you.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
