I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
