Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
NoShamevember. You game?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
