good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
