I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
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Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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