Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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