hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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