the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
