What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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