I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
