Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
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I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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