Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
