Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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