I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
