It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She bit a glass in half.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
