hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Four minutes until I can fart!
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
