Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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