Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
