apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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