Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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