This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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