The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize