i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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