Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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