Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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