wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
